Down the Mother Lane I go

I am so ecstatic!!! I found out on Tuesday I am pregnant! Actually, I found out on Sunday after taking FOUR home pregnancy test. I could not stop smiling and my fiance was like I think you should go to the doctor to confirm. So I went and they said I was 5 weeks and 5 days! However, everybody think I am further than that and so do I because my last menstrual was irregular! I go this upcoming tuesday to see how far along I am! I have been wanting to become a mother FOREVER!!! And GOD has finally blessed me!! We are so excited!!!

My first Car Accident

I had my first car accident and yes I was at fault!!! I looked down for a second and as I looked up I seen I was passing the red light and I looked ahead and when I slammed on breaks I hit a car! I was so mad! How could I have been so busy not to see! Nobody understands how guilty I am still feeling and it has been a week! I close my eyes and I see the accident over and over and asking myself "why you was not paying close attention" Things happen for a reason and I may never know the answer. Hopefully this will end soon because it is stressing me out and when I stress I eat and lord I'm not trying to do that while on my weight loss journey. TTYL "lovelies"

Who Should I Tell?

One beautiful day a little girl Anne woke up by the smell of southern cooking. Bacon, eggs, hot grits, buttermilk biscuits, and homemade orange juice. Anne sat down with her family to enjoy breakfast and discuss the plans of the day. After breakfast Anne got dressed. In Anne's family there was her father, step mother, and three step brothers. Shane was 10, Bryant was 12, and Damari was 15. After they all was dressed they headed out for a day of shopping. All of Anne's friends had the new shoes of the season, pink and white Nike's. Anne begged her dad for the new shoes but he said not this time. Anne really wanted those shoes, she was willing to do anything. Anne was really upset but she knew her dad wanted to get her them shoes, but her stepmother was in the way, she was the BOSS! After shopping they went out for pizza. Anne's step brother Damari asked her if she wanted to play PAC-Man. So they walked over to play. After Anne won, Damari made a bet. "If you win, I'll buy you those shoes and if I win, you have to do me a favor." "What favor is that?!" asked Anne. "I'll tell you later." said Damari. So Anne knew she would win because she always won. So they played twice and Damari won both times. "You cheated!" exclaimed Anne. "No I did not I won fair and square." said Damari. Okay so what favor do I have to do. I'll tell you later. So after they left the pizza parlor they went home to retire for the evening. It was around 11:30 p.m. and Anne two youngest step brothers were asleep in their bed and her parents was sleep in their bed. Anne fell asleep on her living room floor while watching television. Anne was dreaming about how all her friends would like how those new shoes would look on her feet. While she was sleeping Anne felt something rubbing against her bottom. But she thought she was dreaming so she ignored it. But then she felt a breeze and something poking her really hard. She woke up and to her surprise Damari was on top of her. So she screamed and told him to stop. Damari said "remember that favor you owe me, well this is it." Anne said NO I did not agree to this, get off of me!! Anne was in pain and she started to cry. He said if you lay here quietly I will give you those shoes you want so badly. Anne really wanted those shoes but she knew what Damari was doing is wrong. So she started crying loudly and he said if you don't shut up and lay here, I will kill you. So fearful for her life, Anne laid quietly and let Damari do as he pleased. After he finished he said sorry and handed her a bag with her new shoes. Anne was crying and did not know what to do. Her step mother would never believe her nor her father. So she laid there hurt, lost, and confused. Anne didn't know what to do or who to tell. The next morning came and as they usually do they got up, ate breakfast and got dressed for the day. Anne could not eat, she looked at her parents and thought to herself, "Who should I tell?"

Have we grown apart?!

How much can a person take? How long are you willing to fight? A relationship takes two people to fulfill each other's needs and wants. I am grateful to have a man to love, cook, clean and does basically everything for me. But is this what I really want. Do I really love him? I don't know. Of course, I have been tempted plenty of times to leave and do bad things. When I met him I was seventeen years old and in High School. On my way to College, and since I lacked funds, I moved in with him. Things was all fun at first but that's just like any relationship. How can you keep the spark in any relationship. All relationships have good and bad days. But when the bad starts to outweigh the good, then it's time to let go. I'm content, comfortable, and safe with him. I just don't know what to do. I'm confused. I have people telling me to leave, stay, or just do me. There are a lot of things I want to do in life, that he don't want to. I feel like, if you don't have anything in common then how is it going to work. I will let nature take it course and last year was the test and this year would be the answer. We'll have to see!

Ooooohhh, how I love my NATURAL HAIR!!

As a young girl my mom always said, "never get a relaxer." I've always wanted my hair straight like my friends and only wear one ponytail. Well my mom passed when I was 8 years old, so I had different people doing my hair. At the tender age of nine, I discovered I could braid my dolls hair. So one day, nobody wanted to "deal" with my hair so I decided to braid my own hair. I was ten years old when I braided my ENTIRE HEAD all by myself, without the use of help or a mirror. I wanted to see how long my hair would be if I got a relaxer, So when I was fourteen I went to the salon and got a relaxer. Boy was it soo pretty. I noticed after getting them regularly, I couldn't take the burn from the relaxers. So I would only get it relaxed once or twice a year. I hated them but continued anyway. So I was inspired by my sister and others to go natural. So February 2009, I decided this will be my last relaxer and IT WAS!!!! I transitioned, getting trims throughout '09 and '10. I finally chopped the rest off in December... so HOORAY!!!! Going natural has helped me grow as a woman. I fell in love with myself and explored so many new things. It helped me see the true beauty in me, not saying relaxers can't help self-esteem, but being natural is like "being me" FREE!!! People might look at me and say "OMG what is wrong with her head or dang she needs a relaxer" And I look back like "BAM DON'T HATE, YOU WISHED YOU COULD ROCK IT LIKE ME WITHOUT HAVING TO PURCHASE A WIG!" I just laugh at their ignorance. So hello to my fellow natural ladies love yourself first and never worry about what "they" think!!

Random Night Thoughts #1

Well I am sitting here thinking to myself, "why do I let things get to me?" I'm tired of stressing over any and everything. Life is too short to be thinking: "what if I did this, why did i do that, why, why, why, what if , what if, what if?! For majority of my life I did things to please everybody, or to keep a certain image, because I'm constantly thinking, "What are they saying about me?" Well I have gotten over that hurdle when I chose to go natural(with hair of course). However, I want to do much more and I want to see much more! I am not a patient person! I want everything and everyone to be MINES!! I want a house, a family, a car, a wonderful husband, EVERYTHING! Everybody say, "oh you're young you have your whole life to get those things." Well I don't want to be old and out of shape when I get them. What can I do now to get there?! I feel like I have been cheated in life. I have done everything right. I swear it is so easy to trade your soul for the DEVIL, but I would never do that. I pray and pray for things and I know it takes time but how much time. Things are falling apart and I can't fix them all by myself. What am I doing soo wrong?! Unlike some people, I can find fault in some of the things I do, but how long will I have to be punished for it!!!!

YOU TOLD YOUR DAUGHTER WHAT?!!!

How can you tell your child to only date a man/woman who has that "paper"? Okay what if he/she is out there robbing, stealing, killing for that money; does it matter? Before you open your mouth please THINK! Okay I have always been told "never settle for less" well sometimes settling for less is better. I say this because women look for a man that is going to take care of them and with this society nothing is ever stabled, so what happens when that man loses his job?! Would you leave him? Would you cheat on him? What would you do? I have heard a mother tell her child to always look for a man to take care of you. It's not always about "being taken care of." As a woman or man, you should always want your own. As a motherless child, I wished someone would have told me that. I have been with my current boyfriend for seven years and he has always done for me and now I am too spoiled. I hate cooking, cleaning, catering to him. He always doing for me and I NEVER do anything for him. After a life-changing experience, I realized this man loves me unconditionally and I should treat him the same. Relationships are 50/50 not 20/80. How as a mother can you tell your child to allow a man of any stature, as long as he has money, to be with him? What if this man is robbing someone to give his woman all these fine things in life because he lost his job, would it still be okay?

The first day of the year!!!

Happy New Year!!! How did you spend the first day of the year? Well I spent it with the love of my life! We slept most of the day away lol! But it ended great. Went shopping with him to his favorite "man store" (Harbor Freight). After that we enjoyed some wonderful Randy's Pizza mmmm!!! Visited a few more department stores, then went home and had some adult fun lol! Anyway it's a new year and with a new year comes problems, however it's up to you to make the best of the daily challeges thrown your way.

GIRL, DID YOU HEAR...?!

Do we all believe what we hear? Unless you are certain, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!! Misconceptions are Misdiagnosis! That's exactly why I don't have friends, only associates. I have realized that I have told too much last year and that could come back and haunt me! However, we learn how to grow from our mistakes...what I did is irreversible. In my lifetime, I have spreaded things that I did not know was true. It can hurt people if you don't hear it from the source. Do we spread lies to make ourselves feel good, even though you are hurting this person with the rumors?, What do you hate so much about this person? If you don't know then shut up!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

WELCOME TO 2011!! THIS WILL BE A WONDERFUL YEAR! SO MANY RESOLUTIONS AND PLENTY OF TIME LOL! MY RESOLUTIONS ARE: GROW MY HAIR BRA STRAP LENGTH, OBTAIN MY DEGREE, LOSE 60 POUNDS, AND TO LIVE STRESS-FREE!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!